I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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