in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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