If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
