I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
