I heard we made out
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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