he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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