Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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