just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
