Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize