Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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