I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
