I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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