I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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