I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
