I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
