I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
