The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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