The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize