VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
