im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
