So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize