You work out of a Hotel?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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