yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
