Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
