i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
