i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
