Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
