Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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