How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
