Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
