Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
