I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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