Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
