I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
