So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You're a waste of cheezeits
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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