What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
