It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
