Those balls look pretty dangerous.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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