He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
