There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
