My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
As shirtless as possible
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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