ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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