if you like me you must not know who I am
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
