dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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