I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
so much tequila, so little girl.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
