I look better un-naked...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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