it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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