your thong is hanging out like whoa
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
