I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
