your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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