someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
