I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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