is your mom at the bar?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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