It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
