a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Your cock deserves a montage
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
