drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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