were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
