he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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