is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
