Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
