i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
