I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
