it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
