it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
