When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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