I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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